You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
