you win again, gameday.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
