He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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