I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Your tits are I can't wait for
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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