i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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