I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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