In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
