yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
