this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
