to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
