I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize