i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
