Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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