This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
