Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
