if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
