youre lurking in front of me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
