Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
