Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
