Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
