who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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