i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
