I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
