FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
