I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just had sex on a roof
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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