you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
