dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
