would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
