I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
