i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
