Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
