Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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