Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
