I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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