How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
