I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
