hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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