Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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