so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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