Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
