just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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