I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
