my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
