i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
