Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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