Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
