Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He kissed a someone with a penis
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
