Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate all girls vehemently.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize