i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
