Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
