Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
