what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
