Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
