U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
