There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is my gift to your gina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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