Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well most of my day revolves around power hour
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
