I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
