That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
