Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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