I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think people are normalizing furries
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
