The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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