That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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