You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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