Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
