i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
