I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
