i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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