it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize