DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
